Blessing

by Louie Crew

We do not bless heterosexual marriage because the couples are worthy, but because we value the institution and its power to effect good things in the lives of ordinary people.

Do heterosexual couples fail to live up to our expectations? Every couple does. Do we stop making marriage available or reduce our expectations of it? Of course not.

I know God's presence most poignantly in my relationship not when Ernest and I are nice to each another, which is most of the time, but when one of us is caught in his own selfishness or otherwise least 'lovable' or 'worthy.' When one of us is his 'worst self,' again and again, the other continues to love, continues to call the offender back to his best self. That is not 'natural.' That is of God. ubi caritas et amor, deus ibi est. "We have denied your goodness in each other, in ourselves, and in the world you have created." (Supplemental Liturgical Materials authorized by GC 1997)

Though I wish the world's scorn and the church's stinginess would cease, lbgt couples have often redeemed the scorn, in that it steadily reminds us to take responsibility for our marriages that so many deny to be marriage or wish would go away. The scorn steadily reminds us to work at marriage and not take each other for granted.

That the Church blesses and solemnizes marriage, or refuses to bless and solemnize are matters of great consequence, but blessing and solemnizing do not make marriage happen. Couples marry themselves.

God is already blessing lbgt marriages abundantly, full measure, pressed down and running over, irrespective of the church's willingness to do so.

The church's blessing of lbgt marriage will bless heterosexuals as well as lbgts. A stingy heart is a severe burden to sustain, especially for a disciple of Jesus. God requires us to 'love mercy,' not just to do it. "The quality of mercy is not strained. It falleth as a gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath. It is twice blessed. It blesses him who gives and him who receives. It is an attribute of God himself."

[COVENANT, Number 17, June 2004]

Dr Louie Crew is professor emeritus of English, Rutgers University, lay deputy, Diocese of Newark, and Member of the ECUSA Executive Council